Entering a coaching relationship is different from any other conversation you have in your daily life. It isn’t a chat with a friend over coffee, nor is it a medical consultation. It is a distinct partnership with its own guard rails and rhythm.
To help you understand how we will work together, I want to share the core principles that define my coaching style and what you can expect from our time together.
Let me begin by mentioning that a lot of people compare coaching to therapy, where therapy is past-focused, and coaching is forward-looking. In our coaching conversations, we will talk about your past. It is impossible to ignore because it informs who you are today. However, there is a distinct boundary in how we handle it.
My role is to help you suss out the learning and transformation from your past experiences. We look backward only to move forward. If we find that there is a traumatic event where the learning hasn't happened yet, if you feel stuck, churning, or continually ruminating on it, that is a sign that we have stepped out of the realm of coaching. In those moments, I will support you by helping you find a professional better equipped to help you heal that specific wound.
It is natural to come to coaching focusing on the struggle, the goals you haven't hit yet, or the obstacles in your way. While we will certainly tackle those, my coaching approach prioritizes what is working.
We will take time to savor what is good right now. We will identify the ways you are already taking care of yourself and ensure you don’t lose sight of them. Real growth does not come from fixing what is broken; it comes from noticing and building on top of your strengths.
It is important to clarify my role as an expert. I am not a doctor, a dietician, or a personal trainer. I do not lead with expertise in biology, specific diets, or exercise regimens. I will never hand you a "prescription" for how to live your life.
I am an expert in behavior change.
You are the expert on your own life and likely already have access to plenty of information. My job is to help you navigate the psychology of change, build sustainable habits, and find the resources you need to thrive on your own terms.
During our sessions, I will ask you questions that might feel different, perhaps deeper or more challenging than what you are used to hearing. These questions might stop you in your tracks.
When that happens, take your time. I am comfortable with silence. I do not ask questions to get a quick answer; I ask them to get your truest answer. If you need to pause, think, and sit in the quiet to find that truth, know that you are absolutely welcome to do so.
A major tool I use is reflecting. This is where I feed back what I heard you say to ensure I have understood you clearly. This is a partnership, and accuracy matters.
If I reflect something back to you and it resonates, great. If I reflect something back and I have missed the mark, please tell me. You are always safe to say, "No, that isn't what I meant." I want you to correct me so we can get to the heart of the matter together. My end goal is to truly understand you.
When it comes to the overall structure, the process of wellness coaching progresses through several stages:
- You provide background information through a well-being assessment so that you and I are well-informed on the key issues, including medical considerations.
- During the first 60-minute coaching session, you identify your priorities and develop a personal wellness plan including a vision, three-month goals, and the first steps.
- In subsequent 45-minute coaching sessions, every 2 weeks, you and I review the progress toward your vision and goals, explore and resolve the most pressing issues, learn something new, and then agree on a set of goals for the following week. You will enjoy plenty of ah-ha insights along the way.
- By the end of three months, you can expect to reach more than 70% of your three-month goals and feel energized and confident to embark on new areas with or without my support.